Who will guard the guardians?
by annafan
Summary: A little Frankenstein's ficlet of a crack fic. We're all familiar with those modern day AU versions where Gandalf is a high school teacher, Legolas an eco warrior, etc. etc. This is what happens when instead of a fresh-faced teenage self-insert, two middle aged ladies write themselves into an AU fic with the brothers Hurin. Collaboration with Tommy Ginger.


**Who Will Guard the Guardians?**

Modern Day AU: We've all seen them... Gandalf the high school teacher, Glorfindel the flat-race jockey, Legolas the eco-warrior, Aragorn the university student, Elladan and Elrohir the fast jet pilots in a remake of Top Gun...

So this is what happens when two Middle Earth middle aged fangirls (MEMAs) get loose on this sort of thing. Our starting point: TG has a long standing joke that fanfic would be a great place to hide terrorist communications, and some poor so-and-so in GCHQ/NSA has the miserable task of trawling through the worst excesses of fanfic to try to find these messages. And in a case of life imitating art, this week the scandal of the alleged GCHQ/NSA hack of Rovio's Angry Birds hit the headlines (link to BBC article on my profile page).

Our other long standing jokes... TG is deeply in love with Boromir, and I am deeply in love with Faramir (who, according to TG reads the Guardian newspaper... which in case you're outside the UK, is a left-of-centre, very earnest newspaper).

This being fanfic dot net, there are of course rules restricting the use of real people in plots. For this reason, we refer only to the political roles of various characters, who are of course entirely fictional versions of their real counterparts. Should the reader choose to picture the real counterparts for comedic effect, that is their look-out.

Let the fun commence. I'm afraid it's still in the form of a plot outline, because, to be honest, I'm not sure how one would fill this out in any detail. Plain text is TG's, italics are mine...

~o~O~o~

Well...I know I might not seem like it...especially with the lot you work with...but I am a bit of a mad genius in my own way. I can see the story now...a poor woman nursing the hangover of a nervous breakdown...spends hours pouring over fanfiction in hopes of easing her anxiety and finding some pleasure in the world...when she suddenly begins to notice a strange pattern in the stories she's seeing. At first...her very brilliant friend won't believe her...but before it's all said and done...the two are drawn into an international game of espionage and intrigue. And it just might prove more deadly than any quest to destroy a ring.

Whatcha think? I will be content if Boromir plays my spy/lover who may or may not be one of the good guys.

_Ooh, the sort of morally ambiguous role Boromir was made to play. He of course has an idealistic younger brother who is a reporter on the Guardian (where else) who needs to find an able mathematician to aid him in understanding the ins and outs of code breaking ... the fact that said mathematician is a fairly well-preserved middle aged single mum with an extremely cute small boy is entirely coincidental and not at all a self-insert, oh no siree! _

You are reading my mind! And younger brother is sensy and brave and falls madly for brilliant math whiz and her adorable son.

And I had already cast you as the brilliant friend...but it will all tie-in nicely that you and the brother start your own investigation. (Sigh.) Even if he proves to be a baddie and kills me in the end...I hope I get some incredible sex out of ol' Boromir before the end. And just maybe...maybe...he might turn out to be a good 'un in this and we all live happily ever after!

_Possibly under assumed names in an entirely different country. Illyria... no, no, Ithilien... _

_And you, sorry, I mean our heroine will of course get loads of amazingly hot sex with Boromir. Possibly involving peaches (any that are left over after the Guardian journo and -x-me-x- oops I mean the mathematician have finished)._

_And so what if I'm a theoretical physicist - it's pretty damn close to being an applied mathematician._

And even though I'm rusty...I AM a journalist. Think "state of play" meets "body of lies". I would definitely read it or shell out the 12 bucks to see it

And of course...somewhere in the course of our running from terrorists and my ( maybe) deadly lover/spy...we seek shelter in Warsaw with our dear friend who proceeds to tell us we are all mad.

_Before he too has to flee when it becomes apparent that "A dark and horny night" was in fact a thinly veiled exposé of the German Chancellor's red-hot affair with ... who do you think for best comedy effect? The Russian PM? The British PM? The Supreme Leader of North Korea? _

Ohhh...The Russian PM is Hollywood casting gold for a baddie...but the Supreme Leader is comedic gold. The idea of that wee little hobbit of a man attempting to mount Frau Bundeskanzlerin ...well...I am peeing myself as we speak.

**So there you go. Possibly to be continued, if we get any requests (we are of course open to requests to "Please, for the love of whatever deity does it for you, just STOP.")**


End file.
